are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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