Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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