I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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