The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
