I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
