using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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