I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
