Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
