it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I wear drunk well.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
