I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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