There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize