I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
