Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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