Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
