dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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