i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
where are you?
Hypothermia
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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