I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
