i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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