Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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