Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize