your parents love me but you hate me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
