Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
