help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
