I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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