I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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