so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
