she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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