I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
