I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
