Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
