As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
