when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
