Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
