Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
