Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize