I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
