my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
