We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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