Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i think my cat just said my name.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
