I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
