Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
