I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
