i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
