i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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