I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
