I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
