Kiss
Puke
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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