my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize