Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize