Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize