I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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