I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
