I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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