Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
