Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
