How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
