i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
