If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
